Their past relationships
In a poll of 2,000 people, the British dating site Illicit Encounters found that 44 percent of men said they had lied to partners about cheating in previous relationships. Why? Because they didn’t want to scare off a potential new love, according to the UK newspaper the Metro. Unfortunately, that’s the kind of lie that can erode trust from the very beginning, and ultimately doom a relationship. On the other hand, check out these signs you can totally trust your partner.
“[Men] are afraid that they don’t have a ‘right’ to be angry about certain things,” says Stanizai. “Or that their anger is their own problem and they don’t want to bother their partner with it. They tell this lie because they fear judgment, [that] a conflict will ensue, or that it’s not a big enough deal, and that it will pass.” But anger that you deny or push away doesn’t dissolve, it just fades for a bit then comes back stronger—often when you least want it to. “What they don’t realize is that a loving partner wants to know their inner world, their likes and dislikes. They don’t want to be kept in the dark because sooner or later, the issue will reveal itself and the partner will be blindsided. Better to bring it up before it’s a big deal.”
The fact that they need you
One of the most destructive lies that men tell—themselves, and others—is that they can go it alone, writes former journalist and book author Tor Constantino for The Good Men Project. “This is the lie of ‘rugged individualism’ most often foisted upon us via the media in the form of movie characters, fictionalized novels, pickup truck commercials, certain genres of music, cigarette ads in magazines…just to name a few,” says Constantino. “This is the most ludicrous lie of them all because we all need somebody—we’re social creatures that crave connection above almost everything else.”