You’re not a mindreader in a penny machine so stop acting like the Great Santini
“I am a grandmother of three and if I could give my grandchildren one piece of advice for their marriages, it would be to never assume your partner knows what you are thinking. Always ask them how they feel, even if you think you know the answer, just to make sure. You may just be surprised. People often do things because they thought the other one wanted them to when the reality may be the opposite.” —Hyapatia Lee, former Blessed Woman for the Lost River Band of the Cherokees in Mitchell, Indiana and author of Native Strength
Don’t hang your dirty laundry out for the neighbors to see
“Before I was a grandma we didn’t have social media so people didn’t share things about their relationship like many young people do now. But I think it’s still important not to air your dirty laundry. Don’t go running to your friends, the internet, or worst of all, your family, to vent about your latest argument. You may kiss and make up but they may not be privy to the apologies and it makes it harder for those that care to forgive. Naturally, if there is a fear of violence or the relationship is ending, this does not apply.” —Hyapatia Lee. It’s OK to post some things about your relationship on social media, but avoid sharing these 8 things.
Equality starts with home (and burned shirts)
“My grandmother was from Poland and left Eastern Europe in the 1930s. Although she was a typical woman of her generation who was uneducated and whose role was to be a wife and mother, she always had an eye to women breaking out of a subservient role. When I got married, she took me aside and said, ‘If he asks you to iron his shirts, say yes and then burn them with the iron. He will never ask you to do them again.’ That might sound harsh but I realized she was telling me in her own way how to important it was to elevate myself to be a true, equal partner in my marriage.” —Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, founder and chief relationship advisor of Relationup