9 Common Behaviors That Are Subtly Sabotaging Your Relationship

Are you guilty of any of these behaviors?

Making your cell phone the top priority


We live in a culture where we’re constantly checking our cell phones. But, this obsession comes at a cost, and the casualty of a technology obsession can be your personal relationship. “The most prevalent habit that sinks relationships is keeping your cell phone on, and looking at it every time it makes a noise while you’re with your partner,” says Carole Lieberman M.D., a psychiatrist in Beverly Hills, California. “Answering your phone is even worse than just looking at text messages or emails, and this tells your partner that they are not as important as whoever else is trying to reach you.” Dr. Lieberman says a solution is to turn off your phone when you’re having dinner, being intimate, or doing anything else where your partner expects your full attention. Make sure you know these 9 social media mistakes that could ruin your relationship.

Being jealous


Jealousy within relationships typically comes down to fear of abandonment and not feeling good enough, says Michele Kerulis, EdD, professor of counseling at [email protected], Northwestern University’s online masters in counseling program. “Jealousy can stem from insecurity, lack of trust, fear of betrayal, low confidence, and can linger from past relationships and life experiences,” Dr. Kerulis says. To smooth over a situation, she suggests talking to your partner about your feelings and concerns. “Take the time to have a conversation with your partner about specific situations that made you feel jealous and explain why you believe you felt that way, ” suggests Dr. Kerulis. “If you see patterns of feeling jealous throughout your life, whether it is within romantic relationships, friendships, or with family members, it is a good idea to talk with a counselor to process your feelings and to get a better understanding of why jealousy plays a role in your life.” Check out these 17 signs to find out if you’re the toxic one in your relationship.

Nagging and complaining


A nagging mate can quickly create tension and division. “I suggest practicing the art of holding your tongue, prioritizing, and considering your approach,” says Melanie Ross Mills, PhD., a relationship expert in Dallas. She advises to consider waiting until a good time to discuss what is bothering you, instead of nagging. “Be patient if he or she is not ready when you are to discuss the matter. Ask them to let you know when a good time might be. You can circle back then, instead of nagging and complaining,” Dr. Mills says.

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